the observer, Monotype of the Day #510

Day 144 of Year 2 (Actually Day 145)

I spent most of the day in the ER. Don't worry, I'm fine. One of the downsides of having a chronic illness is your doctors become overly cautious. After a battery of tests and a waterless day of fasting they sent me home with absolutely nothing new wrong. I arrived at my door at 12:30am. After taking a drink I headed right for the studio. I observed a lot of callousness in the ER today. It's a place filled with people wanting to help. They've devoted their lives to it and I honor them. Yet still, people are people and they get busy, they get upset, they have their judgements. It's a microcosm of the world at large. The trick to being in the ER is to not take it all personally. It's bloody freezing, your fingers are turning blue and no one remembers to bring you a blanket when you've asked. The best tactic is to watch what's happening and see yourself from above as a tiny cog or even an ant in the ER machine. If you attach to your upsets it only brings more suffering. I admit I struggled a bit with this today, more than usual, but in the end I accepted my position and left without carrying any emotional baggage. Every experience is an opportunity for spiritual training. I'm grateful for another day of learning. I'm grateful that I was still able to make my print. xo

sunrise, Monotype of the Day #365

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One year! And something totally different again, a sunrise, full of optimism. It's been quite an adventure of late in the studio. I have no idea at all what will come out. One year of prints everyday without fail through all my ups and downs, through hospital stays, trips and grumpiness, feels like a big occasion. But I'm treating it like any other day, a chance to get down to work and see what will happen. Tomorrow I'll be back in the studio again. Year two, day one.

As I look back over the year I feel such intense gratitude for all the changes this project has brought to my life. I've grown as an artist and a person. The constant wash of creative flow through me has worn away so many rough edges like a river smooths a stone. I've felt the immeasurable power of showing transform my life and open opportunities and connections. I have formed a deep faith in the value of working. As those of you who follow me regularly know, I had a difficult spring with 3 hospitals stays. It was working that carried me through, even as fever and an operation pulled me down. Touching the creative flow healed me and brought me back to life. Over the course of this year, I've had an intimate, life changing conversation, artist to Artist (the source of all creativity). It has been profoundly private and also more public than anything I've ever done- two opposites almost mystically coexisting in one moment. I've experienced great beauty, sorrow and joy while working and now I am filled with gratitude. My profound thanks to everyone who is following my journey and all the support I have received from you. The comments, likes and sales mean the world to me. If you are not a commenter, know that I feel and value your support. Although I would still be in the studio without you all, your presence this year has made everything so much sweeter and you are dear to me. A special thanks to Barry Echtman, without whose support so much would remain undone and all my artist friends!

As once the winged energy of delight
by Rainer Maria Rilke, Trans. Stephen Mitchell

As once the winged energy of delight
carried you over childhood’s dark abysses,
now beyond your own life build the great
arch of unimagined bridges.

Wonders happen if we can succeed
in passing through the harshest danger;
but only in a bright and purely granted
achievement can we realize the wonder.

To work with Things in the indescribable
relationship is not too hard for us;
the pattern grows more intricate and subtle,
and being swept along is not enough.

Take your practiced powers and stretch them out
until they span the chasm between two
contradictions… For the god
wants to know himself in you.

———————

See you tomorrow

xoxo

waiting, Monotype of the Day #311

Hospital print day 3

Today I’m thinking about how we choose to spend the in between times in life. So much time is spent waitiing, it would be tragic to waste it all. By thinking of something as a waiting period, an artificial boundary is formed that stops energy from flowing. A lot can happen while waiting if we are open, connections can form, ideas can be received, we can feel love. Often I use waiting times to meditate. I especially love to meditate at the doctor’s. Here in the hospital, however, where it is almost entirely waiting time, and when I’m not 100%, it’s difficult to do. Instead, I’m trying to stay open to whatever happens and receive all the love that has been flowing my way, and there has been so much. I am truly grateful.

The Patience of Ordinary Things
by Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they’re supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window

supported, Monotype of the Day #310

Late night tonight! Hospital time requires patience. 😊 I may have overworked this print. Knowing when to stop is the trickiest part of making art for me. When I’m at home and really listening it’s easy to tell. But the moment my mind starts to run, I lose the sense of my body and that’s how the direction comes through. Here it’s more challenging to stay present especially when it gets to be this late at night. Still, it’s such a blessing to be able to continue my work. I remind myself that my job is not to judge myself or my work, but just to work and have faith in the transformational nature of the creative process.

You who let yourselves feel: enter the breathing
by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy

You who let yourselves feel: enter the breathing
that is more than your own.
Let it brush your cheeks
as it divides and rejoins behind you.

Blessed ones, whole ones,
you where the heart begins:
You are the bow that shoots the arrows
and you are the target.

Fear not the pain. Let its weight fall back
into the earth;
for heavy are the mountains, heavy the seas.

The trees you planted in childhood have grown
too heavy. You cannot bring them along.
Give yourselves to the air, to what you cannot hold.

receiving healing, Monotype of the Day #260

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As many of you who have been following my posts know, I have had a difficult month health-wise, but I'm now on the mend. Throughout the month, and even when I was in the hospital, I continued making my daily prints. I made them, but I didn't like them. It was hard to tell if they really weren't good or of I just didn't feel well. One of the core struggles of being an artist is judging your own work. I consistently find that I get the most positive responses on piece I like the least. I've come to believe that it is not my job to judge my work or even to like particular pieces. Rather, it's my job to follow the energy of piece. To let that energy flow through and to work it until it dissipates and finally to withhold judgement. It's hubris to think I know the purpose of a piece, whether one single person is meant to be moved or many, whether it is about changing some stuck energy, or even bringing something new into the world. How can anyone presume to really know the impact of the footprints they leave on earth? This is heavy training for the ego which wants everything to make it look good. It is also a deep lesson in detachment. It is common for artists to identify so closely with their own work that it is hard to let it go out into the world and face judgement. Detachment allows an artist to let work go with blessings. The key is to keep working and know your work has meaning in the world that you will likely never know. This is the promise of creativity, the gift of The Artist to the artist. So, as much as I hated posting my weeks of hospital prints, my faith in the process and unknowable purpose of working kept me dutifully doing my job and I am grateful for such a job (even though there has been more than a little grumbling of late!). xoxo

Feeling Fishy, Monotype of the Day #253

So I’m back in the hospital but I’m finally feeling good again after a month. They seem to have me sorted out. Looking forward to getting back to my studio and life! It’s the strangest thing, I was making my print, ink all over my hands, and the nurse and the nursing assistant came in and didn’t even ask! So funny. Thanks for all your support this month! Xoxo

A fish in the moonlight, Monotype of the Day #246

Hospital print 5

Thinking about the outside world tonight. Hoping to see it very soon. Still enjoying what I can but I feel the call of home again for the first time. That must mean I am improving! I miss not having to clean up after I print 🙂. I love leaving last night ink on my plate for inspiration. It’s very different starting with a clean plate each night. (I have to clean up so I can store the plates here my art bag).

Release, Monotype of the Day #245

Hospital print day 4

So I’m feeling a lot better today! But I’ll probably be here until at least Monday. I realized I was a lot more worried than I consciously knew. Now that things are sorted and I’m on the mend, I need to release that anxiety. Carrying it around can only suck energies needed for healing. That’s what this print is- I purged that helpless scared feeling out. xo