inflamed, Monotype of the Day #331

The work over the past few days has been about releasing past experiences that are still trapped in my body. During the creative act, there is a real transformative relationship between the physical body and the physical object of art. Energies can be released and transferred back and forth bypassing the mind. Art made with intention can absorb the negative experiences and energies of the artist like a sponge, and bring healing. An artist can also make conscious choices and changes to a work of art so that they can be absorbed by the body. I have experienced profound changes both ways while working. Tonight, this piece pulled a lot from me. I felt a great relief when it was done.

In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

the fist, Monotype of the Day #330

Thinking about everything I’ve been through recently and the uses of adversity. It is a choice how we see and experience the world.

Pain
by Kahlil Gibran

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen,
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

for the birds, Monotype of the Day #328

Some days you just fight with your materials. Maybe it's the humidity or the fact that you didn't clean up enough last time, maybe the ink gods are on the warpath. At any rate, it's a wonderful opportunity to practice surrender. Somethings are just not meant to be and if the artist can let go of what they wanted to happen and let the materials lead the way it may lead to new discoveries. Tonight I learned a few things so, even with a bit of frustration, it was a good night. I can't judge the print without projecting tonight's experience on it so I will trust in the fundamental importance of the creative and let others worry about the result. xoxo

annunciation, Monotype of the Day #327

Learning to use this new ink. It's oil based and much stiffer to work with. I may have to heat it a bit to get the looseness I desire. But for now it's a good exercise in working in a different way. I felt a bit worn out by life tonight. I needed to work to get my head on straight and I did. I am so grateful for every moment I can connect again to my creative flow and be renewed.

This work is paired with by "Optimism" by Jane Hirshfield

Read it here: https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/optimism/

surrender, Monotype of the Day #325

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It's so easy to judge ourselves as not doing or being enough, but often this is so far out of our control. The circumstances of life offer so many constraints. Sometimes what is called for is showing up and just surrendering to what is. Doing what is possible and then trusting in it's value whether it falls short of our desired outcome or not. This is an important survival skill for someone dealing with long-term illness.

Mozart, for Example
by Mary Oliver, from Thirst

All the quick notes
Mozart didn’t have time to use
before he entered the cloud boat

are falling now from the beaks
of the finches
that have gathered from the joyous summer

into the hard winter
and, like Mozart, they speak of nothing
but light and delight,

though it is true, the heavy blades of the world
are still pounding underneath.
And this is what you can do too, maybe,
if you live simply and with a lyrical heart
in the cumbered neighborhoods or even,
as Mozart sometimes managed to, in a palace,

offering tune after tune after tune,
making some hard-hearted prince
prudent and kind, just by being happy.

the heart (2), Monotype of the Day #324

I’m trying out a new brand of ink and I’m loving it although I don’t quite have the hang of it yet. My old brand is giving my some technical trouble. It’s funny how the resistance to change is so strong even when it’s clear change is a better option.

I’m sure when most people think of artists, they think of us working away in creative bliss. But there is much grunt work in being an artist too. Today I spent the whole day with the help of a studio assistant sorting hundreds of prints into piles by paper type and ink color in preparation for being properly photographed. Since my last attempt at photographing was an utter failure, I had to teach myself about f-stops, iso and how to shoot pictures from my computer with attached camera. I believe I finally have it right. So no attempt at words of wisdom tonight, just gratitude for progress and for the ability to keep showing up. xo

the heart, Monotype of the Day #323

A quick print tonight. I've been working on more complex prints lately and that has to be balanced with gestural prints so the mind and body stay in balance. I had a lot of trouble getting down to work tonight. My day was busy and it was wonderful but there was no emptiness or down time. Emptiness is necessary so there is space for creativity to fill. Eventually I sat down and meditated and opened enough room for this image. It's a good reminder that no time is wasted for an artist. It's easy to judge ourselves for not being more productive, organized, or whatever. But periods that seem lost, boring, difficult or chaotic give internal space for roots to grow and ideas to mature. To bring forth something new, old structures need to be broken down. Doing reinforces structure, being softens it. It's a matter of trusting the process and having faith that the creative flow will carry you where you need to go. Of course where you want to go and where you need to go may not be the same place! But that is the adventure of making art.

Suspended
by Denise Levertov

I had grasped God's garment in the void
but my hand slipped
on the rich silk of it.
The 'everlasting arms' my sister loved to remeber
must have upheld my leaden weight
from falling, even so,
for though I claw at empty air and feel
nothing, no embrace,
I have not plummetted.

xo

the artist is all ears, Monotype of the Day #321

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A somewhat similar image to last night. I must be processing some energy through. Sometimes that happens. I have to work the same image over and over as it slowly evolves. Eventually something is revealed and the energy dissipates. We shall see what tomorrow will bring. Another Dorothy Walters poem tonight.

Whoever Went In
by Dorothy Walters

Whoever went in
naked to the core.

Whoever cast aside
all the armor,
all the fastenings.

Who could breathe air thin as flame.

Drink water pressed from blossoms,
rose petals
or violets.

Whoever stayed in that
darkness so dark
it became a circle of seeing.

Who could hear
the silent flute note
of the stilled wind,
hold rock turning to light.

xo

the swim, Monotype of the Day #320

My new gold ink is really lovely. Sadly, the photo doesn't capture it fully. For many years I used real 22k gold leaf in my work. The symbolism of gilding (the process of applying gold leaf) is fascinating. When studying Russian Icon painting, my teacher told us gold represents humans in their perfected spiritual state, reflecting divine light back into the world. The goal is to make the gold applied reflect light to perfectly like a mirror. Not an easy task! When applying gold to an icon, first a bed of clay infused with glue is put down and allowed to dry completely. The clay represents Adam, humans in their rough, unformed state. To reactivate the glue after it dries, you breath a warm hot breath with intention onto the clay. This represents God blowing the breath of life into Adam. Then the gold leaf is gently pressed onto the lightly remoistened surface. If you have centered yourself and surrendered completely to the present moment, the gold should adhere. Any place where the gold doesn't stick is said to be the ego fighting for control. It is a truly fascinating and often frustrating process! 😊 The gold in this piece is ink, not leaf, but the weight of this tradition and symbolism floats around in my head and informs any use of gold in my work. I'm really excited because it also gives me the chance to post another beloved poem by Dorothy Walters.

A Cloth of Fine Gold
by Dorothy Walters

You may think
that first lit flame
was the ultimate blaze,
the holy fire
entered at last.

What do you know of furnaces?
This is a sun that returns
again and again, refining, igniting,
pouring your spirit
through a cloth of delicate gold
until all dross is taken
and you are sweet as
clarified butter
in god's mouth. ----
Until tomorrow. xoxo

the prayer, Monotype of the Day #319

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When to stop? At the end of a piece, this is always the question. Recently, I've tended to overthink and go too far. So, the past few nights I've forced myself to stop before I think I'm done. The next day I will go back and see if I really needed that last later. Usually I don't. The end of a piece has to be felt, not thought. It's harder to feel when you are tired and this discovery may actually get me to start working earlier in the day. That would be miraculous! Tomorrow I will revisit this print and see if I made the right choice.
Tonight's poem is a new discovery for me. After I made this print, I was flipping through a book of women's sacred poetry. The last 2 lines fit so perfectly, I couldn't pass up posting it. The garden imagery also touches me.

We were enclosed- from Prayer 20
by Catherine of Siena, trans. Suzanne Noffke, O.P.

We were enclosed,
O eternal Father,
within the garden of your breast.
You drew us out of your holy mind
like a flower
petaled with our soul's three powers,
and into each power
you put the whole plant,
so that they might bear fruit in your garden,
might come back to you
with the fruit you gave them.
And you would come back to the soul,
to fill her with your blessedness.
There the soul dwells --
like the fish in the sea
and the sea in the fish.

xoxo

Gathering of Birds, Monotype of the Day #318

I reworked yesterday's image and feel much happier. It was a good night to work. The studio was humming. Sometimes I get overheated under all the lights and need to step into the garden to cool off. Tonight I was overwhelmed by the smell of honeysuckle. I planted it 3 years ago and this is the first season it's had enough bloom for the scent to completely envelop me. It created a moment where everything dropped away and it was just me and the scent and then just the scent- my sense of self briefly, blissfully vanished. It's the same feeling I get when I'm making art. It's funny that to make something so personal, you, the ego, has to disappear otherwise there is no space for the creative flow. It reminds me of a poem by Angelus Silesius from 17th century Germany

by Angelus Silesius, trans. Stephen Mitchell

God, whose love and joy
are present everywhere,
can’t come to visit you
unless you aren’t there.

xoxo

the flock, Monotype of the Day #317

More learning curve tonight with the new ink, so fun even if I'm not happy with the results. I tried thin the ink and lost all the dark mysterious tones in the graphite. Learning new things is so essential to being an artist and being a human. It's revitalizing. I think I will work this image tomorrow because there is something here I haven't discovered yet. This is the heart of the adventure of making art. Tomorrow I will set out like an explorer on an uncharted trip deep into the jungle.

the artist and the egg, Monotype of the Day #316

This image is a riff of two illuminations in Hildegard of Bingen’s work, one from Liber Divinorum Operum (Book of Divine Works) and one from the Scivias. These are images that have haunted me ever since I saw them when I was 18. I’ll see if I can post them tomorrow. Tonight, I need my sleep!

What birds plunge through is not the intimate space
by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. Stephen Mitchell

What birds plunge through is not the intimate space
in which you see all forms intensified.
(Out in the Open, you would be denied
your self, would disappear into that vastness.) Space reaches
from us and construes the world:
to know a tree, in its true element,
throw inner space around it, from that pure
abundance in you. Surround it with restraint.
It has no limits. Not till it is held
in your renouncing is it truly there.

xoxo